Anyone for Wimbledon Tennis? More Nostalgia and childhood by Jacqueline Howett

Wimbledon tennis, the famous windmill, and top left was the pub in Wimbledon village - my local Sunday teen Pub where we sit on the green drinking cider.

The windmill on Wimbledon common and tea house.
Nr golf course and Queens-mere pond.

Whenever Wimbledon tennis is on the T.V. it always brings nostalgia to me, but also reminds me of the passing years. I'm now fifty seven. It was in Wimbledon, a suburb of London where I was brought up as a child. I could hear the audience from the tennis courts clapping from my home whenever a tennis game was on. I was blessed to be living in this better part of London suburbia, I might add. It was much like a Hollywood of its day with its mansions and movie stars, and actors like Sean Connery- James Bond. Its tennis courts, parks, trees and commons, the windmill and famously named Queens’s- mere pond, and Kings- mere pond. The fashionable elite Sunday walkers or horse-riders who could well afford to stable a horse in Wimbledon village, or play cricket, crocket or golf. There was also the prim and proper eccentricity of village life that still holds today a certain style to reserved fashion, high tea and timeless pubs. And all this is just fifteen minutes from the heart of London.

From elementary school, I grew to love the world of books and go to the library after school. It was also my haven for peace and quiet as my parents didn’t get along, and soon separated. They divorced towards the middle years of my secondary school from Mayfield comprehensive high school for girls on West Hill, Putney. I was also the games captain, and so I was often down at the track running in Wimbledon Park.

me as a small child.

As a child I loved to listen to the children story hour on the radio. The radio show started out the same; ‘Are you sitting comfortably?”  I lay with my belly on the carpet, and with my elbows on the floor holding my face. ‘Yes,’ I would say out loud with a delightful smile. Then the radio announcer would say, “Then we shall begin.” I held on to every word like a treasure. I loved reading stories to my little brother, and my mother promted me to read to him more as she couldn't read very well in English. Before long, I started writing poetry, short stories and kept a diary. I wasn’t the greatest speller, but I was fair. I sometimes wonder if it had anything to do with being taught Greek at such an early age, then French at school. My English teacher told me I had great ideas but had to pay more attention to my grammar. I was also quite a dreamer, looking out the window up at the trees and sky. ‘Pay attention Jacqueline,’ I heard a lot. But I was listening; I was just a deep thinker and processed my information differently. My Art on the other hand always graded me with A+.

     My (latent) mother who passed away in 1996 was Greek, and she worked in fashion all her life in the heart of London. She spoke to us in Greek at home. My father, an English countryman had met my mother in Greece in the R.A.F.  A fervent Artist and wood craftsman who took on various jobs, mostly in sales in those early years. Eventually he remarried and returned to the English countryside, near Cambridge with his English bride. However, if my mother and father never had much in common they both loved ballroom dancing. And looking back on the happier times as a child, travelling to Greece each year for our summer holidays to visit my Greek Grandma and relatives in the world of olives, grapes, and siesta days of swimming, and doing as we pleased- many counted me at school to be so lucky.

My fathers side, on the other hand, was more like having an English Grandma like the Queen Mother in her English rose garden. Funny, she really did look like the Queen  Mother. Cups of tea and petite four sandwiches, clotted cream and jam scones were held with your little pinky in the air, and to preferably say ‘no thank you’ to a second helping. And we were never to talk at the table, ‘little children should be seen and not heard.’ It was always at the back of our minds- act proper. Quite often I was talkative and sent to my room with no supper for saying something derogative. I didn’t care for food much as a child, only puddings which my mother sneaked into me.  You know that song from Pink Floyd, ‘you can’t have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat? Well my meat was always thrown under the table. It was also the Beatles era and George Harrison’s first wife lived across the way from my English Granny.

     My father left home when I was twelve. At fifteen I told everyone I was going to leave home as soon as I was of age, and that I intended to also write my autobiography. When I completed my comprehensive education I left school and went to work, and tried to help my mother in making ends meet like my older brother and sister, so I worked as a typist for a time. My mother didn’t care too much for my art and writing notions. She told me, in reality I had to work and make money first. It was also not easy for my mother to deal with me without my father around. Continued education was not an option living at home. I needed my father and I blamed my mother for her Greek ways that made him leave. She had dealt with prejurdism quietly from the English, let alone my father, and then her own children.

My father when he lost his temper would call her a Greek peasant, and then we as children found it so easy to emulate my father and hurt her that way too. I remember playing in my room as a very small child with friends, and I'd step outside into the kitchen and tell my mother, ‘when you come in my room with snacks, don’t you dare talk in Greek and embarrass me in front of my friends. You must talk in English.' Being Greek or an Italian was as taboo as being black. I was only half English and it made me feel like an outsider at times.

As I grew up, I vaguely remember signs in windows in town, ‘No rents to blacks.’ It disturbed my social outlook. Don’t get me wrong, I of all people encouraged having black friends, and I did. I even inherited more black dollies in my doll collection than I had white dollies, given to me by the only half black family across the street. I believe I knew there had to be a reason I had black dollies in my push cart, and I knew my little friends noticed as much too. (By the way, the girl that gave the black dolls to me, I heard threw herself off a thirteenth floor condominium building later as a teen, when her brother died of an over dose of drugs).

Then at my first year in secondary school, when I was about eleven or so, I remember there was a black girl in my class no one ever spoke to. I on the other hand was very popular, so one day I walked into class and put my arm around Ruth, the black girl, so the whole class would witness this, and I talked and joked with her, and told her not to be so shy. Then each day I walk into class saying, hi Ruth. She would smile and be so happy, and I could see her cheeks flush and tell her so. What followed was a shower of hi Ruth, hi Ruth from the whole class each day, and suddenly everyone was her friend. I felt proud of myself for breaking the ice.

     My Mother was on occasion maliciously told by a few  English to go back home to her own country, then one day she dyed her hair blond and everyone thought she was French. She laughed and played along when it suited her. For some reason the French were a permissible race, maybe due to their air of suave fair or that certain manner when they spoke with such intellectualism, or maybe it was  French bread and their cheese, caviar, champagne and high fashion, or maybe it was their fine Artists. Whatever, it certainly helped along in my mother’s understanding with how to fit into society with her own method for survival as a single working mother- way back in those days.

    At sixteen I decided to join a ballet that was advertised travelling Europe. That was the beginning of my own life. By eighteen I was married to my Greek Seaman and travelling the seven seas so to speak, I even tried to become a Morse code operator on ships just to be a little closer to my husband. At Morse code school in London, they asked me at my interview if I was a women’s Lib. I asked them, what has women’s Lib got to do with being a Morse code operator? They replied, “Well we just don’t have any women before serving in that position.” It set off alarms in my head to the days of the suffragettes I heard about in school. They threw themselves under the horses and killed themselves at the Darby races in order for Women’s rights. I distinctly remember every hair on my body rising when the teacher told this story. And somehow I knew what being a woman was coming to feel like as I ventured out alone. It seemed to fit into the same category as being black, just for being a woman.

What I looked like just after
my divorce- in my early twenties.

 My first novel, ‘The Greek Seaman’ was written much from my experience. My husband died early of a heart attack, much to the effects of his experience at sea, and many others said my divorcing him during his break down years and the loss of our child that was still-birth probably added to it. But his life was lived in paranoia that someone was always trying to kill him after our experience at sea together, and he was in and out of mental hospitals and given electric shocks to try and forget. I was told he died uttering my name on his last breath- even though we had long since been divorced.

     What followed were the Arab Oil years I had entered back in London, when Arabs were still uneducated, but were now allowed into Oxford, Eaton and Cambridge for a price. I travelled Europe living in Paris, Greece and London. Once the Arabs were educated the loose money stopped, and everyone turned around and it was the beginning of the computer era five years later. And I as a writer, I went off to buy a computer for my spelling and grammar, for my pen wrote and wrote my way out of London’s high society, as did my paint brush, creating Art which now turned to Abstract from realism.

During those years, whenever my Mother visited me my head was always under a pile of books, writing or painting and has been my life ever since.



North Wales, UK.



     Engrossed in my cocoon of creativity for many years, I now began to feel subconsciously a calling towards the working world, but I continued to shy away as I felt it to be too much to balance that reality, so I took off from London to a small cottage on a mountain top in North Wales to write for several years more from my savings from the property that I had acquired and sold in London. I could see the castle from my house. It was spectacular at night.



     In 1988, I came to America. For a long period in my life I had husbands and boyfriends that allowed me to write and paint, but a great part of me felt left out. The world again was changing fast. I in my cocooned world took on the shape much like living in a bubble. The world of workers was a far cry from my own. I knew nothing of landing into basic reality, yet I was highly intellectually opinionated.



As the years passed writing and painting, the world changed more, and an edge entered my life. It felt almost like a cliff I had to throw myself off was placed in front of me in order to enter the human race had happened when my mother died in 1996. I reached out to the world by placing more and more of my Art into exhibit.

     Being a stuck up brat/snob for so many years was not easy to shed. I was shy in public, and too much of a deep thinker. Yet, in the process the lady of letters was young enough still to be tattooed up so to speak, and could make it by herself in the world. The world was changing fast and I was propelled to catch up, and with my dreading change I was kicking and fighting much of the way. But it was mostly still only through the Art world.

I could feel a definite intense force was merging very slowly to bring my change about, but for some reason I had to let go of Shakespeare in the process, when I moved into a relationship with a man for six years who had grown up children. But then my memory to reciting all the classics went. Yet, I believe his children were somehow my mentors or guides towards my own independence and survival as they tackled their own first jobs. Being they were the children of this present era, I felt I learnt from them how to make a living in the main stream of the real world.

It was at forty nine, fifty; I had finally arrived into the working world, and I left my present abode in Maine and headed off to Florida alone, and with very little money I was ready to go to work.

      In 2002, I took on a job at first as a live in Caregiver to save for a car and apartment, and my books and art went in storage. With my not really knowing how to pump gas by myself and frightful of driving any long distances, I took my first plunge into my working life for Ms Work. Ironic don’t you think? Am I kidding? No, her name really was Ms Work. Well, I realized right then, how there was much more to this world than I could ever fathom, and it was only in my maturity that I understood it in this new light.

 I was the happiest girl on the planet. I had finally arrived into the mix of the working world. A late bloomer, but I had arrived. I was now being prepared to deal with whatever choices and challenges came my way independently. And as the years passed with these Granny’s, who I learnt so much from, my balancing a check book became clearer. I knew exactly where I wanted to be- on the beach writing my books and painting. I was now paying rent to my own place like I had just turned twenty one. And, oh- how I began living life all over again.

During this time, I began to do only twelve hour shift work earning me more money, and I began another novel- my third novel. (Somewhat of a funny book, I might add).  I wrote the notes down in my client’s garages or in my car. My car, an old 1994 mercury cougar was paid for from my own hard work and I still have it. It must be the only car on the road left with no polish. My writing life has been the most difficult thing to do, yet is still rewarding to climb. My being put to work was the most glorious thing to me in the beginning. Now years into it, I am relatively tamed, and I can say like most workers, it sucks, but a nice kind of- it sucks.

Oh yes, I have indeed arrived into this new era. So, as I deal now with further editing, my own reality show begins in my maturity. I’ve come a long way. Tired, you know it, but my mustard seed of faith is strong. I indeed did it my way and no doubt I shall survive.     

And as you see, there are small subconscious things I have carried with me from childhood. Did I want to see a black president? You bet. And yes, a long time coming…. The women’s issues- well, maybe in time the abuse will stop. But one thing’s for sure, this generation is certainly not making it too easy for a man to emulate his forefathers. Women of today are here to break the mode. And, if I could have my mother back today, things would have been different. I viewed her world growing up with such bias eyes. She was a brave and a very extraordinary woman of her time, just as so many women were.

Queens-mere pond, on Wimbledon common was a regular walk for me.

At the end of the path is a grave-yard, and behind the cemetry railings there, my mother is now buried.

I have been writing Paranormal and didn't know it.

Of late, I have been re-reading through my second and third novel in progress, and have noticed as if for the first time a strong Paranormal element runs through them. The thing is, I am now debating if I should cut these scenes out completely, at least from my second novel.

- Hmm, so much to think about as the second book is more about discovering this power as part of growth amidst fear, where as in my third novel it reveals the awareness of having  and knowing this power, and recognising the power in others with a certain amount of wisdom, so the paranormal seems to be what makes the third book.

I was telling everyone how i was writing about the interaction of angels in human affairs, that enter the body of every day people in the process of one's circumstances, or life story, as well as the opposite- with demons in the human form that creep in and out, let alone various playful muses.  For me, its never been ghosts or vampires. Mine is more an interaction, or rather to the understanding or awareness of our psychic world as humans. I didn't really notice until now, that I was actually able to brand my third novel Paranormal or Paranormal romance, until I began reading various novels in the Paranormal genre. Some Paranormal novels are so out there, or highly exagerated that I didn't want to be among this catogory, but when there is a psychological element- it changes everything.

I must say, it has actually helped in understanding my own process. Its interesting how sometimes it takes a while for the penny to drop about one's own work, and what one is writing or has experienced through life. And for that reason alone, it is why its so important to read from a broad spectrum of writers and genres. Sometimes you have to put your work away for a long while, to know what it is you have written all those years. Anyway, it's nice to have had this finally pointed out to me. Dah! - However, I shall be sure to get a second opinion. Then again, some times it really is about a state of maturing, not only as an author, but as a soul in order to understand the paranormal state.

So what is Paranormal? Here is a link I found online that explains this briefly.
http://www.milwaukeeparanormal.com/What-IS-Paranormal.html


Also see: What is Paranormal romance.  Written by various paranormal writers.

Paranormal romance -wikipedia

Seeing that I'm talking so much about paranormal, here is a free e-book available for a very limited time by Debra L Martin and David W. Small on Amazon. Grab a copy while you can.

Abraham "Ham" Jones, a cripple, and Zia Slate, a tomboy with an attitude, find themselves unlikely partners in this post-apocalyptic tale of survival. It is decades later since the world blew itself apart. Life is harsh, gangs rule the streets, the system cops keep the peace anyway they can. Being a kid in this world isn't easy, being a cripple is about the worst sentence handed down. Being a girl with no protection is only slightly better. 

Ham and Zia's lives are irrevocably changed when they meet a mysterious old man bearing gifts - a cane for Ham and a knife for Zia. But, nothing is as it seems. Everyone wants something and no good deed goes unpunished. Forced into a desperate encounter, they must fight for their lives when it's discovered they now have possession of two of the legendary memory weapons, the very weapons that ultimately destroyed the world.

Note: I have taken The Greek Seaman down from Amazon and Smashwords.

To all those awaiting for the new release of The Greek Seaman, by a second Editor, I'm sorry you have had to wait so long. I hope to have the grammar re-checked soon- when funds allow. As of today, I have taken The Greek Seaman down from Amazon and Smashwords, and posted this also in the side-bar. 

I noticed The Indie Spotlight posted up my interview finally on June 12th with The Greek Seaman novel. However, I gave them this interview way back in March. There is an alternative excerpt from THE GREEK SEAMAN I noticed  posted over there, if you want to see a little more into the novel while at sea click on the link. Anyways, I have decided to also place their logo up in my sidebar.



Lunch on the beach is still fun to do, but the weather is crazy hot right now here in Florida. 95 degrees and humid, so it's not pleasant outside, but there is outside cooling fans that help.

Have a great week.

Jacqueline.

Just chilling and enjoying life.

Jacqueline Howett is the author of The Greek Seaman. A seafaring novel, on Kindle and Smashwords.

Hi Folks,

I haven't been online for a while, but Life's been good lately here in Florida. I've been hanging out on the beach more, and catching up on swimming and toning up. And it feels good to actually throw a real book into my beach bag. The water is so clear, but you have to dodge the occasional baby three foot sand-shark, stingray, jelly fish and quite a good size crab. Yes, it is the season- as well as Hurricane season, and well, were hoping it will be another quiet year, but we have to be ready to run with a bag and the clothes on our back and get out of dodge. That niggling little feeling at the back of our minds is the price we pay for living down here.


Working on various projects, and taking life one day at a time. 

Later.

Enjoy life!


Jacqueline

In retrospect- Viral announcement! So sorry for swearing!

Concerning the Big AL mishap.  Here's my side to the story.

Jacqueline Howett is the author of  The Greek Seaman.

In retrospect- my public viral announcement!

I would like to say, I am so sorry, really, that you all had to hear me swear in public online. I usually don’t like swearing. So here you have it, my viral apology.  My public acting out was a mistake. 

Look, I don’t want to be seen as a trend setter, or as I’m hearing lately, it’s now the fashionable in thing for writers to do to drop the F- bomb. Seriously, I didn't drop that F-bomb until the reviewer said, "So let's see what the rest of the world think of your writing, shall we?"  Then tweets the world. Hello? Really? Didn't I just say to him, please, let's go private and let us speak by e-mail?

So, it's time to get your facts right- read on!

It all boils down to communicating in the end, that's getting lost amidst the fast pace of social internet.

The issue was never about a bad review, or spelling, it was about a format matter, but for some reason got blown out of perspective and what really happened just got twisted. Then I brought up how some thought it was well written, and basically just wanted his viewpoint further. While I'm talking oranges, the reviewer was talking apples. And then the reviewer  tweeting our conversation; and well, rightly so, it made me feel I was being attacked. So I said F*** Now go and blog about that! Reviewers are not suppose to tweet the world, are they? All I was asking was a conversation via e-mail. I was almost begging the guy to please hear what I was saying and lets have a conversation about all this in private. We just were not on the same page. I didn't know who I was dealing with as a person. Not only that, his profile picture was of a dog for so very long. Its only been recently he has put his face up. That's why I was saying, "who are you?" At the time, there was still this air of anonoymity.

And looking back, where were all the lovely people online offering to help in a friendly manner with a few spelling and grammar mistake's?

Since then and then, I’m sure many of you are wondering, so, I’m going to put this up for you to gather what you will from it, and then I’m moving on from this subject.

 There are a few things I need to say first, concerning my mishap with Big Al, and what propelled in that moment in time. But really, it was all a misunderstanding on both our parts, I would say. And yes, I was wet behind the ears as a newbie writer who was just learning the tech world of blogging, and FB.  Twitter, well, I hadn’t got that far yet. Anyways, I am a slow e-mail kind of girl, and have been accustomed to conversing with everyone I deal with politely via e-mail. I would also like to say, I know I'm not the greatest at grammar, but really, all along I was just talking about the format. When I was saying, my writing has no flaws in it... really, as hard as this must be to believe, I was still focused on format. So you see, how much things can get misconstrued? I felt he wasn't listening to me or picking up on my wave-lengh.  (That is what is so dangerous about the internet.  Gosh, I can have that not hearing me carry on with those closest to me offline in everday matters when they are stressed out, let alone online.)

There was however, one e-mail that Al, the reviewer from BooksandPals sent me, that came before all this hit the blog. Now remember, I am still thinking his been reading from the wrong format script, and I sent him an e-mail to remove the review until he read the correct format version. Al replied to my e-mail saying:

 “I have given my review, and I’m not going to take it down. Move on to your next novel.”

...even his tone to me felt harsh.

And then I thought, “What’s he talking about, move on to my next novel, what about this novel?”

I e-mailed back, “but I intend to promote The Greek Seaman.”

no reply.

              And yes, I did feel like a chick that had just hatched. He was talking apples, and I was talking oranges again.

      Any ways, I got no replies thereafter from Al. I felt he left me hanging, when I really needed more feedback about the format. Is that it? I thought; move on to my next novel? Now if he said, correct  your grammar or spelling to TGS, or get another copy editor to look at it, that would have been acceptable, and if it remained via e-mail (private), that would have been the end to it.  I would have said, my thank you for his output. Then without more feedback from Al, I was confused by the three reviews that had just come in, where two reviewers had said it was well written and gave me five stars. I needed more feedback.

     So, all I was trying to do from this point on, was to get Big Al's attention, seeing he was ignoring me, and that's when I posted my five stars reviews on his blog.

     I had spent over a thousand dollars on proofreading, and copy editing The Greek Seaman. Al telling me to move on to my next novel didn’t help at all. It sent me over the edge. I didn’t care about the two stars really, well maybe some, but it wasn’t about stars at that time. It became these two pointers.

In my mind, I felt he had read the wrong format copy, due to his review   mentioning the word click a few times, and well that is what set me off. You see, I had some previous issues on formats, meaning, I had to correct the click- to next page issue in the ebook on Amazon kindle, and Smashwords. Well, I fixed it, and sent out another copy of the free e-book the very next day, while it was on a free e-book promo and re-announced it to the world (everyone who had picked it up).  I was also undergoing some various major pressures, while this was all going on you should all consider for what its worth. On top of this, which I might explain some day.

 So, I’m still wet behind the ears. Just because I had a blog up and joined  FB for a few months doesn’t mean I know it all, I’m still a newbie writer learning the ropes online.

  Al, I came to realize was a newbie reviewer, but who was use to lots of open attention via an Amazon forum which is not my scene, due to my reserved hermit manner. And well, he likes operating via twitter etc., I don’t. (At the time I didn't know about Twitter or what it really was all about). And so now I came to realize after reading some other reviews on his blog, he had given some author five stars in spite of the grammar and spelling mistakes that he had presumed were corrected since. Again I was wet behind the ears about the ARC copy in publishing. So now I’m thinking, how does he know the author corrected the grammar, do they talk via twitter? So I’m thinking his talking to some authors he reviews via twitter. His not talking to authors like me via e-mail, I’m living in the stone-age tech world. Well that pushed another button. I imagined all these little pups around his feet begging for twitter attention.


Should reviewers be allowed to twitter authors they review in this way? It appears the line has been crossed on both sides.

"Can we go e-mail please with all this?" I said.

I guess that's a no... All I was trying to do , was get his attention in his happy busy tweet hitting world.


When I said, 'my writing is fine,' I was just saying, no were not talking about the writing, were talking about formats.  My writing is fine! So, everything I said from there on just got twisted.
 what happened next was at the blog, and you all read that, but what sent me ballistic was the fact Al, the reviewer decided to throw up snippets of my book online, without my permission. When I asked to go e-mail with our talk, he said, “well lets see what the rest of the world thinks of your book shall we, and let them decide about your grammar shall we?” So he hits the tweet button, or loudspeaker button for the whole world to hear. I already told him previously to go e-mail with our conversation.

Does this sound like a man who is hearing me?

Besides, I'm talking formats still. And I’m a private person. Oh –no! He just hit another button in me.  Reviewers are not suppose to behave this way. 

So, I’m thinking, Al, thrives and feels comfortable in the lime
-light of forums. He is forgetting this is now blog land, which he has just started up on. As a reviewer, he can’t expect any author is going to appreciate that move. When he hit the loudspeaker, saying, ‘lets see what the world thinks of your writing, shall we?’ and then tweets the world, he has no right to do that, none what so ever!. Oh- yes, that was my going ballistic moment.  --- Yes, so what followed…? Yes I said my first F***

Yes, I know I've repeated myself, but this was the button that triggered off my swearing at him, and this point needed to be explained.

Then red adept enters, another reviewer who Big Al had recently some comradship going on with, and they tweeted away.


Next thing I know, I've gone viral: and that was another word I had to google. There I was, in Forbes and the Guardian, the washington post, etc.,

David Barnett at the Guardian had 111 comments before closing.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2011/mar/30/jacqueline-howett-bad-review?INTCMP=SRCH

Then Jean Hannah Edelstein, at the Guardian, really twisted my words I noticed, when she states, I said, "that my first book is great." I did not say that! She has created her own dialogue here in what she thinks I said. Pure speculation. Overall, it wasn't a bad write up, but then everyone jumps on the band wagon, writing what they think transpired. Really? How stories change by the time it gets down the other end of the street-eh?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/mar/30/jacqueline-howett-bad-review-fury



Kiri Blakeley at Forbes:  I write about women being buzzed about & what women are buzzing about.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/kiriblakeley/2011/04/01/self-published-author-cant-handle-a-bad-review/

A month later: Wisdom, I would like to say, I’m not a hater of anyone, as I love people too much, and I'm curious about human behaviour. My God forgives me, so I forgive my haters. It doesn’t matter if they don’t feel that way; I at least, in my forgiving, I'm set free.  But it's a pity everyone got the wrong end of the stick, thinking this was all about a review.


Two months later, my viral apology is in the politics section of The Guardian.
Bin Laden is shot dead today, and just underneath that, I read about myself, the author and her viral apology, right under this major news headlines, and then I'm being viewed more than the tsunami that just happened. OOOKAY! Excuse me while I take a step back for a moment! Oh yes, I'm beginning to think the world is now double nuts.  But then doesn't the universe work in mysterious ways.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/may/11/hugh-muir-diary

..........

But speaking of reviews, I just heard of another author who got a bad review in the Times. He said he would hate the reviewer until he dies. He is only giving the reviewer ‘power’ over him, and that kind of hate might even give him cancer, if he doesn’t let that go.

After the swearing, that was intended only at Al, at the time; (so, sorry, if anyone was in the line of that,) I left the blog. I have only returned a visit over there, just a few days ago to look around.

And so, through it all, we have come to learn since, of various other authors who have had some similar mishaps. Some I hear have appeared worse than mine.

Apparently, one well known writer, doesn’t allow anyone to re-edit her work. Spelling mistakes and her grammar have become part of her own uniqueness now, so I read. The way she wishes to express herself, is not to be changed, and is written so in the contract. How much of this is still true today, I don’t know, but I can sure understand it. And doesn't Jack Kerouac explain something like that in one of his essays? At the other end of the spectrum, there was another author who decided to give up his career with writing, as reviewers at Amazon kept attacking his characters in all his books.

Another author this April just exploded with loads of  F- bombs. In some cases it might even sound refreshing to hear writers rant about their frustrations with what is really going on in publishing and self publishing, but getting the word across with the f- bomb, I don’t know. But I must admit, I would probably now read this authors books, now she has been pointed out to me. Her issue was more based on not getting any Amazon reviews I think, after readers buying her books. And I must admit, all authors would like their readers to take a little time to do that! It was also about the pressure of working fourteen hours a day promoting online her books without getting the sales she expected, when she’s killing herself over it. And so, she’s going to keep all her many books more like a hobby, from here forth. Sometimes there’s just so much tedious blogging going on, that real issues have to come to the surface maybe about what’s really going on.

Should writers be able to answer back?

Through all this viral stuff, I had a International radio station who wanted me on- to debate, and one other who wanted to interview me on this concept, how writers have every right to speak up and defend their work, and another with how writers should stick up for writers, and not reviewers, where so many might be sucking up to them in hope to get a better review when its their turn. Well, anyway- this is the latest stuff.

I wonder also if Big Al, will be leary of handing out, after this, so many "two stars."

I have also come to learn, you don’t need to request a review from a reviewer. You can slowly acquire them from Facebook with just readers, just as I was doing before I met Al. Hopefully, some of the readers who bought my book and liked it since I went viral will also post a comment at Amazon at some point, saying how they enjoyed the book, in spite of the negative trolls and graffiti over there. That I would really appreciate!

Questions

I have been asked by various reporters, was this a set up? A. No, not by be, but it may well have been from planet 27.

Q. Are bad reviews, good reviews?

A.  Hmm, well my sales went up, and I continue to sell more each day. I was #68 for a short period on Amazon UK, under the category of popular women’s fiction until the graffiti reviews started showing up, then it slipped out of sight again, but sales continue, in spite of the 100 negative 1 star trolls. And that’s why I haven’t taken my book down yet. (Why Amazon doesn’t take the graffiti down, is another story which you can Google,) but there are people out there who actually do this for an hour a day religiously, who go over to Amazon to give out one stars and a bad review. Some are also getting paid to do it, as well as give out five stars to some others. In fact, I hear there’s a very good income to be earned just doing this. And well, in this economy everyone’s game. I never knew any of this stuff until all this happened to me, but apparently its been going on since the early ninety’s.

There will be many more authors in the future, who have just got on the merry go round, who will have no knowledge of all this stuff, just like me, no matter how loud you shout it out online. Writers are usually (authors) living a hermit type life style, and when just arriving online, they are not looking for that kind of info. Maybe there’s another author who is ready to explode. And not everyone is a twitter or FB or blogger. Newcomers will enter wet into the arena behind the ears, just like I was, especially if you write in a hermit type of life style as I do, and then suddenly being active online can be nothing but pressure. And well, it is relatively new, all of this online e-Book stuff for everyone. So much is still experimental.

Anyway, as you all know, since my name and book, The Greek  Seaman went viral, (I didn’t even know what going viral meant). I have received offers from national/international radio shows and offers to speak where movie stars and Nobel- prize authors are heard, and had numerous other interview offers, and a publishing offer. It got major International press coverage such as the Guardian, Forbes, The Washington Post,and various others picked it up, let alone the various author blogs, such as Nathan’s blog, etc., then it became blog meat for everyone else on the planet, which amazingly enough continues to make various kind of blog meat like its some new art form one has discovered, or a new way of thinking all about it. I’ve even had video skits made up from it and coffee mugs. Let alone that special category of loonies and spotty kindergarten lot I call the laughing hyenas. (Sorry, nothing personal). Now I have a file for bad people, and another file for nice people. My blog stats at one point, really peaked with everyone looking in to see what was going on, or be said next.  

I became Zen silent of course, and at times became a spectator to myself, watching the show unfold.  It wasn’t all serious, there were some amusing moments. Human beings after all, are a wonderful intriguing study. There were moments there I thought sheer politics. And yes, I do like philosophy and psychology. It even had some catalyst momentum. And then there are times I am trying to understand-what is all this- really about?

Just some of the notes I have been receiving, I thought I would share here, without naming anyone, and to show amidst it all, how love reigns above all.

o    I would like to read your book

I am totally happy that there are people who believe in their work and capabilities. I hate the word "Professionalism". For me it’s never the world deciding what is correct and what is awful! They will criticize people talking contrary views about laws of gravity but some day they might say Gravity has failed.

With this word "Professionalism" they try to protect these less creative and rule-followers.

Best of luck !!

I agree with you Jacqueline! I loved your book, I think you should pursue legal action immediately.

·         "I just read your review post and I'm so sorry you were baited into that. I haven't read your book yet but I intend to. Keep writing! Find the calm in the storm. I have also had to write during incredibly stressful experiences. Know that other people support your creative endeavors. The internet is seedy. Ignore as much of it as you can."

I have just read that blog thing that’s being passed around about your book.... and all the anal twats that were commenting on the thread and you telling everyone to 'F o'.... well ya know girl I think Good for you but i would of been alot more explicit... and I will be reading your book....    next time 'F O YOU CTS' would be more appropriate.... and trust me I don’t swear that often ! people with nothing to do with their time, bored half wits :))

o    im guessing

You were punk'd as they say by The Regretsy Site .. Well now that you know who it was, I hope it helps to realize you were just one of many that she does this to .. Im not sure what you can do about it ,, but maybe you do .. good luck ! : )

o    Let it pass

Jacqueline,
I don't know you, but I saw all the internet drama. Let it pass. People love to see someone go down and will gather like wolves. Keep your chin up and move on.

o    people

Hi Jacqueline - I notice that we just "became friends" on facebook yesterday. I was watching the brouhaha on the internet about the Big Al review, and I just wanted to send you some hugs and sympathy.

Please don't let this get you down! People can be so thoughtless.

·         "Love your writing!"

o    Read the book, loved it. I found your story and the style you told it in beautiful, no, that's too light a word. The Greek Seaman was breathtaking. As a fellow
writer, I find you inspiring. Don't listen to Al or any of the people
giving you crap on the books and pals page, you're great. Keep telling
your stories.

• ·         I find writing and sharing the most difficult thing to do!

   

o    IMPORTANT

Dearest Jacqueline Howett,

I just read your review on BigAl and the bashing that followed.

I just wanted to say that if I was in your situation and had to read all that in the space of a few hours.. I would've felt cornered and defensive too ( not to mention pissed off!!).
I hope you have put the comments behind you and found a sense of contenment in the book that you put so much effort into.

I also want to say that I wish you a prosperous writing future and hope that you don't let the comments of others diminish your obvious passion.

As for your response to the review and subsequent comments. I wish someone who has such a precious talent as you do, handled it with a little more dignity... I don't believe the critic disliked your book.

Then again.. I can't really say much not having been in your shoes at that moment.. maybe you were just having a crappy day.

I'm aware that you didn't call upon my opinion.. just thought I should just let you know that I believe you are talented and should carry forth with the integrity that I'm sure shines through in your writing.

A.     I really appreciate your note. There was actually more to it. There was in fact a beginning, that nobody got wind of that set the tone, which I won't go into here today.

As for the crappy day, yes, I had migraines, earaches and toothaches, but that’s really no excuse. But most of all its working under so much pressure while living in crazy and stressful circumstances.

What made me the most angry was the fact that those criticising you posted comments that were littered with typos - the irony! And actually, the examples given by the reviewer were pretty poor. The first was perfectly fine. The second was missing a full stop and the letter 'd' but that hardly made it difficult to read for any literate person, in my opinion.

Hi Jacqueline,

In my humble opinion this whole mess started when the reviewer wasn't specific about his problems with your text. Perhaps he was used to sweeping statements, assuming others would know what he's talking about and perhaps there isn't enough room in a review to do anything but?!

So let me be specific:
1st on page 13 #11: A participial phrase at the beginning of the sentence must refer to the grammatical subject. (...and there are variations).

Might I recommend re-reviewing Strunk and White, The Elements of Style (and/or others). Specifically page 13. Note #11. (about participial phrases). This is something we all trip over because IMO we pound out a sentence which is pretty clear (but irritates agents, editors, and in this case, a reviewer). I'm always on the look out for these errors in my writing (after being bashed upside my head a few too many times).
"Don and Katy watched hypnotically Gino place more coffees out at another table with supreme balance."

Using S&W agents, editors, and reviewers read that Gina has supreme balance. So, here, I think you can say you did nothing wrong regarding that S&W rule. The reviewer is probably looking at the table having supreme balance, because "another table with supreme balance" has no commas, parenthesis, or em dashes. This thing about commas, is also in S&W page two about parenthetical phrases. Well, I'm reviewing all this now (because I was trying to help you (not that you need help, but don't we all rely on each other) and it's blowing my mind. Commas are swimming up stream and every which way. I'm now worried about a submission I handed in for a contest.

Also, this thing about participials is often referred to as dangling participals and can occur in other parts of the sentence. Yuk. I have to stop now, lest I take the rest of the day to read through S&W again when I should really be writing my next scene. It's always a struggle for me.

Anyway, I wish you luck with your novels.

p.s. "She carried her stocky build carefully back down the stairs." I think the reviewer was referring to the placement of adverbs closer to the verb, but I don't have the time to quote a source here. I like the adverb where it is, because it is more dramatic where you put it, but what do I know. Sometimes I question myself and it's times like this when I know my friends at the critique group will never let me down.
 

Jacquiline,

I just visited your blog, and I really liked your graphic artwork.  The plots for your novels show a real flair as well.

I mostly just wanted to wish you well in your creative efforts.

Dear Jacqueline,

I have been hearing about your book "The Greek Seaman" on different places on the internet this week, and as always with the internet (I look at comments on news stories and despair at the cruelty shown to victims - e.g. to a mother whose  child died - she deserved it, wasn't a good mum leaving the child for two minutes, etc, etc )  much of it is unpleasant by people just wanting to dig in the boot for no reason other than they can.  This distresses me very much  - dear Jacqueline, I hope you will rise above it, return to your blog as if nothing had happened and carry on with your head held high as before.
As regards your book - I bought a copy.   In the long run - well, even if it doesn't seem so now,  remember the maxim:  any publicity is good publicity.  For instance, I wouldn't have heard of you or your book otherwise.

In your biography you state you have a Greek mother and have travelled widely - obviously why you were so well qualified to write the book you have written.  Yes, I noticed the occassional odd sentence construction that tells me you are used to other languages - obviously probably Greek! - and I thought it added to the delight of the story - because yes, I was able to read and enjoy the story fully - and did so.  It was full of great observation and sensitivity and I  loved Katy.   Please continue your writing, and be proud of your great book.

Best Wishes

PS.  And I love your artwork shown on your blog too - you are obviously a very creative person  (often said to be highly strung . . . ;-)

All I can say is, keep your chin up and keep writing your books. You can't change people's minds with comments, but you can win them over with fiction. Keep at it, don't give up. Forget that Al guy and his review. Ignore the negativity, because it will only hurt you if you dwell on it.

I hope this is one of many letters of encouragement you receive. Don't even bother reading the non-encouraging ones!

BTW, I'll be buying your book this afternoon! :)

Sending you a hug

Dear Ms. Howett. I often read Nathan Bransford's blogs and heard about the nasty people attacking your book. I am as yet an unpublished writer, but I will get there. Don't let their insensitivity get to you. You wrote a story. It was your creation and sometimes, people would rather tear down what is created instead of just enjoying.

I haven't had the chance to read your book, but I will as soon as I actually have a moment to myself.

Good luck and keep writing.

hi miss jacqueline!

im thinking you could maybe need a hug so im sending you a big one.

HUG!!!

http://forums.poets.org/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=21444

Since then and then, I think we have all learnt a great deal.

I did find it interesting in some other e-mails I received, how many came out of the wood work to gather power unto themselves, or took the opportunity to sell themselves and their own wares. It made me realize how it must be for those with true fame. How they do not know who their true friends are. It most certainly gives you a new perspective on things, at least on how to carry yourself. One must be cautious in their dealings, more so, online. With that said, I do believe I have also met some amazing, true, and loving people through all of this, and from all levels of society.  And I do think that it is a very important factor that must be portrayed. You know, when things are bad, there are some real nice people too, that show up in ones life.

Well gossip surely makes the world turn.

What the face of the internet can be like. What are the rules of the internet showing us? Rules, maybe there are none. Pressured to excel by those around us however, I think is a big one. Only time will tell what the internet now entwined with Twitter and Facebook and linked now on your blog will become, but what did you conclude from all this? Or what do you think should change in the future of the internet?  Yes, maybe it’s too early to tell, but that was an interesting glimpse.

Yes, I have been wet behind the ears. I chose blogging thinking it was a slower and quieter pace. Well, this experience just goes to show how wrong I am. The intercom speaker button can be pressed at any time on our tortoise, slow paced blogs to Twitter, and who knows, viral. And for me, that was some fast training.

My apology in the Guardian

So as I say, if I left it as it was, I thought I might be setting up some kind of trend for the future of the internet, and I didn’t want to be a part of that. So, I thought it necessary to apologize for my swearing and reacting so publicly on a blog, and finally answered back this week, Hugh Muir's Diary, at The Guardian, concerning my regret.

However, with some Googling, I found out that this new F- bomb trend is probably already here.  We can however, all do our part in some small way, to see love reigns, above all.

Now to clear up the editing issue

Yes, my novel TGS was given an outside edit, all except the first three chapters which I admit, I did myself when they became an add on I put in later, so that the book would be closer to 60,000 words. I was thinking I would need another big wad of money again to send it out. Its only recently that I have heard I can have a novel edited quite cheaply.

 I have been living in some diverse circumstances, and I felt I was pressured to get the book published by those around me, saying it was good enough. I wish I didn’t feel that kind of pressure at the time concerning the first three or four chapters. I wished I never listened. Having financial problems, where other immediate bills have to be paid first wasn’t helping. So I couldn’t afford another copy editor at that time, and I still can’t. So, another copy edit will have to wait. But I shall try to do what I can to clean some small commas here and there. The truth is, copy editors don’t always catch it either, and who can afford two or three of those in this economy on one script? Writers- our lives, really!  Any way, the first few reviewers I had from Facebook who read my book, thought it was well written, so I’m not too bothered. Well, it looks like I have arrived on the world stage, saying it as it is. Never thought I would have to be blogging this now. Maybe I should have taken the money from one of these radio offers. As for the publishing offer, I let it pass after considering the contract.

By the way, when I’m blogging, I can be lazy about language. I have seen it even in my books, but I admit I’m pressured-lazy, if it’s just one or two, or five or so items. I basically write my blog in first draft as I go along. Everyone does it.  When I read a comma here and there, or bad spelling in some ones work, I e-mail them very privately, but often it doesn’t bother my reading experience of what some ones trying to convey, unless I think it might be extremely noticeable to others. And it isn’t going to knock down drastically my star rating of a book either.

Who needs to hear in the blog comment section, that they forgot to place a comma here and there?  It’s more to do with what you're saying when it comes to blogs, and I have visited many blogs with errors, so please, accept it as part of the territory here, as no big deal. But if you want to prod me about it, I might just get in the mood to clean some things up a bit, if you say it nicely.

PS. I also wanted to clear up, that Maggie Howlett who left a review at Amazon, is not related to me. She bought my book after a face book promo, saying it was a good read to everyone on Facebook, and money well spent, which was at $2.99 at the time. Now this other Daniel Howett, maybe is related, I really don’t know; I have never met them. My family don't ever go online, they don't know how to use it, and besides they do quite different things with their time, like living in the real world. Boy, it took me long enough just to get the hang of it. Maybe I have a nephew out there.  

So what happens now? We’ll see.

There are so many false reviews going up giving one stars. One actually said, how it doesn't seem I know anything about ships and the sea. Hello? this is my true life story as a Chief officers wife who often went to sea, and who navigated a huge merchant ship when everyone was sea sick through a hurricane. I'm a survivor of a major trauma. It's my autobiography written as a novel. That's like saying to a soldier who served in the war, they know nothing of killing and guns and war. Yeah, there's some nutty stuff going on out there in the review world. Some are quite young kids in their gangs, yeah! Everyone's seeking a little power unto themselves in whatever way they can get it.

You know, personally I think in today's social media world, (which is now another ball game)review request by authors to a reviewer should speak more with eachother via e-mail first. It would stop half of the trouble that's going on presently. 

I would pull the book maybe to rid of the troll/graffiti at Amazon, but its still getting sales. People who are buying my book, and enjoy the book, I would hope they will still visit Amazon, rate me appropriately, and leave a comment. Who knows, maybe they will eventually outweigh the negative ones who have never read my book that have left comments. . Many however, seem to want to stay anonymous at this time. Whatever, but let me say this, all writers like to get reviews posted up for them at Amazon, if you liked their books, that's how they get a higher rating.

Notice
Yes, I hope to bring a new edition out of The Greek Seaman, that will give further details to Don and Katy's story at the end. And yes, it will indeed be given another grammar, and a copy edit to satisfy others. This will be announced in time. I don't know if Amazon will pull the low stars for grammar on my book once it's re-edited as a new edition. I think they want a brand new book cover and a new book name to rid of them, so I hear.

What a challenge I have ahead of me. It will take courage, that's for sure! If any good has come of this, it cetainly is making me open up and grow and become more aware of my grammar. Catcha- all later. My best to you all.

Thank you to all of you who have been buying my novel, The Greek Seaman, and have enjoyed it.

Jacqueline

P.S. Note: As of 06/28/11 I have decided to remove The Greek Seaman novel from Amazon and Smashwords for a second editor to take a look at it, just as soon as funds permit. Thanks for your patience.

3/15/12

Latest added news. The Greek Seaman is now being proofread by TJ Proofreading, who comes highly recommended. More news about this very soon!

 A year later.   April 2012

Nucking Futs was inspired in part by my misfortunate viral mishap written up in the Guardian.  Now playing at Bats Theatre in NZ, from 12th-21st April 2012. The Play is a comedy about Life and Literature online. With its trademark dark humour, full.stop.theatre uses Nucking Futs to explore how the internet can feed delusions of grandeur and prey on people's naivety for the amusement of others.

Click on my link to read full reviews and all the tidbit links at one site.

 

http://jacquelinehowett.blogspot.com/2012/04/nucking-futs-tidbit-links.html

Written by Cherie Jacobson and Alex Lodge
Directed by Ed Watson
full.stop.theatre




at BATS, Wellington nz  
Until 21 Apr 2012    

Tickets $18.     

Jacqueline Howett

Thanks for stopping by and for taking the time to read this very  long blog!  Check back from time to time for more updates to this very same blog page, or view the latest from my blog's sidebar.